pondělí 14. března 2011

Anne Lamott - Bird by bird

I used to write food reviews for California magazine before it folded. (My writing food reviews had nothing to do with the magazine folding, although every single review did cause couple of canceled subscriptions. Some readers took umbrage at my comparing mounds of vegetable puree with various expresidents' brains.) These reviews always took two days to write. First I'd go to a restaurant several times with a few opinionated, articulate friends in tow. I'd sit there writing down everything anyone said that was at all interesting or funny. Then on the following Monday I'd sit down at my desk with my notes, and try to write the review. Even after I'd been doing this for years, panic would set in. I'd try to write a lead, but instead I'd write a couple of dreadful sentences, xx them out, try again, xx everything out, and then feel despair and worry settle on my chest like an x-ray apron. It's over, I'd think, calmly. I'm not going to be able to get the magic work this time. I'm ruined. I'm through. I'm toast. Maybe, I'd think, I can get my old job back as a clerk-typist. But probably not. I'd get up and study my teeth in the mirror for a while. Then I'd stop, remember to breathe, make a few phone calls, hit the kitchen and chow down. Eventually I'd go back and sit down at my desk, and sigh for the next ten minutes. Finally I would pick up my one-inch picture frame, stare into it as if for the answer, and every time the answer would come: all I had to do was to write a really shitty first draft of, say, the opening paragraph. And no one was going to see it.

Tuhle knížku už jsem dokonce několikrát rozepsala a nakonec pokaždé vyměnila za jinou. Myslím, že je poměrně dobrá, jen si tak nějak nevím rady s tím komu a proč ji doporučit. Je to příručka o psaní, nikterak praktická, spíš jen v náznaku, její hlavní kouzlo podle mě spočívá v tom, jak dokáže popsat frustraci z nedokončenosti, z nespokojenosti, ze závisti. Vůbec se tu nesnažím řešit otázku, jestli lze psaní naučit, ale pokud se pokoušíte něco psát, knížku, povídku, blog nebo jen deník pro sebe, určitě jste podobné pocity zažili a třeba se vám bude hodit, že v tom nejste sami a jak z toho ven.
Ugh. Nějak se mi to nedaří vystihnout, budete mi muset prostě věřit :)

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