Woody Allen - Mere Anarchy

I am greatly relieved that the universe is finally explainable. I was beginning to think it was me. As it turns out, physics, like a grating relative, has all the answers. The big bang, black holes, and the primordial soup turn up every Tuesday in the Science section of the Times, and as a result my grasp of general relativity and quantum mechanics now equals Einstein’s – Einstein Moomjy, that is, the rug seller. How could I not have known that there are little things the size of „Planck lenght“ in the universe, which are a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter? Imagine if you dropped one in a dark theater how hard it would be to find. And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker that to a man on a boat – especially if the man on the boat is with his wife. The latest miracle of physics is string theory, which has been heralded as a TOE, or „Theory of Everything.“ This may even include the incident of last week herewith described.
I awoke on Friday, and because the universe is expanding it took me longer than usual to find my robe. This made me late leaving for work, and because the concept of up and down is relative, the elevator I got into went to the roof, where it was very difficult to hail a taxi. Please keep in mind that a man on a rocket ship approaching the speed of light would have seemed on time for work, - or perhaps even a little early, and certainly better dressed.

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Česky jako Čirá anarchie, v překladu Dany Hábové. Moje představa o humorné knize (tedy pokud nejsem moc unavená, Allenova angličtina je složitá a plná různých vypečených narážek), už ji mám z knihovny asi potřetí, co jsem v USA. A to jdou fámy, že autorovy starší povídky (dal si v jejich publikování čtvrt století pauzu) jsou daleko lepší. Prozkoumám, napíšu.
No a jaro taky. Úplně bez kabátu, procházka cestou z knihovny, kafe s ledem poprvé od loňského října, všude tulipány a macešky. Chce se mi v tom jen tak být.